Saturday, October 1, 2011

Because What Would The Innernets Be Without Random Ranting?

I have about three other topics I wanted to blog about, but instead, because Flickr decided to tweak some stuff mid-middle of the night, I'm feeling ranty...

(As a sidenote, Flickr initiated a project for those of us who were getting aggressive to chew on. Here's my entry.)

And now on to my set of random rants, in list form- because listifying rants makes them less random, right? Right??

 1. Pandora Radio. I recognize I don't pay for Pandora (and actually as an addendum to this rant, I do love the way the new Pandora looks, and that they did away with the 40 hour listening cap...buuuut....) One of my favorite things about Pandora was the ability to move songs from station to station. When Usher "Nice and Slow" plays on my Wispy Ladies station (a station that is supposed to host willowy lady voices singing angsty things) I shouldn't have to thumbs down it. I like "Nice and Slow." It should go on my Panty Droppers station. There doesn't seem to be a way to do that any more. That's lame. Spotify and are looking better and better to me.

SIDE ANECDOTE: Moral quandary- I was recently in Pandora's hometown of Oakland, at a bar, and there was a Pandora gathering occurring. When it came time to pay for my drink, the bartender asked if I was charging to the Pandora party. Given that I was already peeved about the track moving thing, I was tempted to answer in the affirmative. I didn't, I behaved. What would you have done?

2. Twitter. Hey twits, if you find a trending topic offensive, tweeting that you find it offensive and using the topic hashtag only helps the popularity of said topic. As with everthing offensive on the innernets, it's always better to ignore it...(recent examples include #Aaliyahsfinalplaylist and #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend) On a related topic, Why come Twitter you block some trending topics (recent example that comes to mind are the NYC protests and the Troy Davis fiasco...) Do you not remember the impact and cultural relevance of the Iran protests on Twitter?  It makes the medium less "of the people" and more "just another media outlet."  Super sad.

3. iVillage email updates. iVillage, you asked me if this "email doesn't look right." I should say so, but not for the reason you think. I suspect you mean to ask if the format is correct, and it's fine. What I take issue with is that you pretend to be news and articles tailored to women, but in actuality, you are nothing more than a trashy, patronizing women's mag set to bytes. "10 Tips to Keep Your Man"? For reals?

4. The bleak future. Hey teenagers, those seats at the front of the bus? Those are for the elderly and the disabled. You know, just like the sign says? I weep for the health and education of our future if modern teenagers can't read a sign, or can't walk to the back of the bus. I'm about two years away from perfecting my upturned shaking fist...

5. I don't know why it incenses me, but I can NOT abide by people who open a new product before the old one has run out. You know who you are. You were cute enough to get away with it this time-- but next time, you lose a pinky.

6. And last but not least, the incident which is responsible for my elevated blood pressure... for the last, like month. I was standing at a crosswalk with my cutie boyfriend, waiting for the light to change in our favor. The light changed for the cars moving in our direction, even though the walk crosslight hadn't changed. I took that as a cue to walk (I frequently watch for the cars going in my direction rather than the "Walk" light. California lights can be wonky...)

Unfortunately, a car was turning, and almost hit me, but cutie boyfriend pulled me back in time. As we discussed the incident, chuckling at it, I said the phrase, "but it was green!" (meaning the streetlight) to the cutie boyfriend. At that moment, we passed a restaurant with a security guard policing the entrance (why the hell?). I guess he felt the power of his authority swell up inside him and he C'd his way into our A and B conversation with, "Actually it wasn't, actually."

Yup, he both started and ended the interruption with "Actually."
I don't know what made me want to scratch his eyes out more, the interruption, the presumption that because he wears a uniform he deserves to interject into our conversation, or the absolute fumbling with my native tongue. Actually-actually? ACTUALLY-ACTUALLY?! To be fair, I like to play with words, but I consider it a flirtation with my favorite things, rather then an utter disregard for how things sound, or how to make word usage sound mindful. Actually actually.

I'm done here, yo.