Monday, September 19, 2011

Press "FLARGH" For English

Over the past few months, I am rapidly learning that I do not speak my native language.
It began with relative strangers, so naturally, I assumed it was their terrible comprehending skills.

Now even those closest to me hear, "I'm going to take a nap," as "Garffllapppfgrpsshhhh?"

My very best friend and I had the following discussion via text, for example:

ME: You ever feel like you are about to make an epic mistake, but are powerless to do anything but make it, so you can learn?

J: Whatcha up to, babygirl?

ME: Riding the bus. Writing bad poetry (I resisted the urge to follow that with, "With a crazy kind of urgency." In the hopes of not being confusing. I should've typed it.)

J: What kind of mistakes you getting ready to make?

ME: Just thinking. My brain is on hyperdrive. Everyone can spot a mistake in hindsight... what if you could see it coming and let it happen?

J: We do that all the time. We call it self-destruction, right?

ME: Nah, that's not what I mean... not like planned mistake making based on crazy brain. I mean I guess a solemn determination to test life.

J: That makes no sense to me!

ME: I apparently no longer speak english. No one understands what I say anymore.

J: Haha. Awww. rough Monday, babygirl?

ME: Nah, this shit has been going on for months. Pretty soon I'm just gonna babble and throw my own feces.

J: I'll still love you!

ME: You are required to, because I keel you otherwise.

1 comment:

  1. LOL. Aren't besties the best?

    I understand you, most of the time. In the times that I don't, I just nod. :)