(I posted this on Craigslist, Missed Connections. I read them religiously, and it sates my nosy little heart like no celebrity gossip rag ever could. Certain trends, however, were getting on my nerves. As I am 104% sure it will be flagged and removed, I've posted it here for posterity as well. Enjoy.)
I'm sure this will be flagged shortly, as anything that isn't a photo of a penis or a scam usually is... but here goes.
You saw that hottie on the train? You wanted to say hi, but chickened out? It's cool, post a missed connection!
Who knows, they may read it and contact you!
I've had one hit (a conversation in a grocery store turned into an
awkward first date... is that a hit?) and one miss (I pined after a
bartender, and was informed promptly that EVERYONE pines over said
bartender. Oh well) on my own- it could happen to you!
Here are some tips I've formulated from reading these things obsessively every night...
1. You posted a pic? Great! Is it relevant? For reals, that could
mean a penis pic if that's the only way your MC would recognize you...
is it a cat picture, when your post has nothing to do with cats? Fail.
2. You have an eye for a cute waitress at IHOP, and want to tell her how
she warms your syrup? Post it, describe her so she knows it is her...
don't describe YOU, unless you had, like, three eyes. If you add, "Tell
me what shirt I was wearing" to your post, it's only revealing that you
think a whole lot of yourself, that she would remember your no-tipping
ass after a long hard day at work (actually, if you didn't tip- better
not to post at all. She WILL remember you. And not fondly.) How bout,
in order to weed out ravenous waitress-imposters, ask her to comment on
something about herself that you noticed.) She'll probably remember
3. M4M- no tips, gentlemen, keep doing what you do. Seriously, the
lovely gay men of the bay area have more fabulous sex then any other
population, anywhere, ever. Keep posting and making me smile, darlings.
4. Initials. You realize there are only 26 letters in the english
alphabet, don't you? While it may weed things down a wee bit, posting a
vague note to "J" is unlikely to produce results you'd like... Unless
of course the object of your affection is named Quincy. or Xavier. In
those cases, carry on. Why not try a descriptor with your initial? A
zodiac sign? Anything?
5. For the most effectiveness, if your goal is to actually re-connect
with that MC, put something specific in your title, and choose your
location wisely and specifically. A title of "Beautiful" in the general
SF Bay area is unlikely to catch the person you are jonesin' for. Try,
"You accidently brushed against my butt at the Hillsdale Starbucks
today. And I liked it."
6. Prepare to be flagged for absolutely no reason. What's up with that?
7. Gentlemen. This actually transcends CL- MC-land, and covers a piece
of advice in the real world.... We ladies are not vehicles for our
rockin' boobies. Therefore, addressing posts to our boobies alone is
unlikely to garner a response. As our boobies can't type. (Well, mine
can't anyway... if you happen to be that talented, let me know.)
8. Ladies. It's okay to let him go. Call up your best friend and read
that poem to her. If she's a good friend, she'll tell you not to post
it- after she regains her composure from laughing so hard. If she says
post it- THEN post it. And move on. You are lovely and wonderful and
deserve someone who thinks so too.
9. Pretty please don't flag me. Please? With a cherry on top?
10. Keep on doing what you do, and letting it all hang out. I love love love reading these things. For reals.