Don't Even Get Me Started on the Almonds...

Someone in the cafeteria where I work has pissed off God.

That's the only explanation I can come up with for the TWO floods that have plagued the good people who work there. I mean, even Noah only got one flood.  I don't know what that person did, but they should probably work it out with their personal savior so that we can get our "special eggs" on.  I suspect the offense had something to do with Turkey Thursday, but I can't prove it.

Anyway, being that our normal lunch spot was underwater, we meandered over to a smaller cafe with a sandwich bar. While we waited in line, we saw a sign.  I have seen similar signs to this, but not ever with this wording.  I have seen numerous nut warning signs that say things like:

"May contain nuts."
"This area contains products that may contain trace amounts of nuts."
And even: "Cannot guarantee that this product is nut-free"- a label that I think applies to more than just allergies...

But recently, at our small contingency sandwich shop, we saw a sign that said,

MADE IN THE PRESENCE OF PEANUTS AND WALNUTS.

Which of course my brain translated to:

A Short Excerpt of a Domestic Conversation

The boyfriend and I are lounging, discussing his text message traffic (homeboy maintains a large, chatty posse.)  One of his friends is discussing a current potential paramour...

He: He's a German... furniture maker?
Me: Must be a hipster.

This is when he shoots me an "explain" look...

Me: Furniture makers are all hipsters. Or the Amish. Or people who do it because their father gave them a store, that was given to him by his father.  That's it.

He:  You should draw that.

And so I did- See?

I don't know why I imagine the Amish are so angry. But I do.

Mad props to the iPad app Paper by 53, for helping me draw this.
Also mad props to Karmin, because every time I drew something today in Paper, I sang, "I'm makin' paper!"